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nedsseveredhead:

Yes, lets go fight magneto. in my metal wheelchair, via my metal airship, with my metal wolverine to protect me. i see no way this could ever go wrong.

(via dancingwithdoctors)

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(Source: doctorwhogifs, via doctorwho)

Tags: dw spoilers
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Can I get apps and ‘serts? 

(Source: schwartzmaned, via nissancubes)

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kyanve:

mousathe14:

ankoku37:

brianthuff:

Is there anything a natural 20 can’t do?

This is a poster idea I developed to show off the amazingness of tabletop rpgs.

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"You attempt to pickpocket the man, but accidentally pull down his pants instead."

"You reach out to push the orc off the bridge, but instead lightly caress his back. He is uncomfortable."

"You try to stab the guard, but you stab your crotch instead. Roll fortitude."

"You say your name is Bob and not Jim. Your lie is misinterpreted and they now believe you are a serial killer."

"You swing your axe, but it slips from your fingers and sails across the room."

"In an attempt to dodge the incoming arrows, you jump into the swarm.”

"You bull rush the enemy but miss and jump off of the cliff."

"You try to land on your feet but you land on your sword instead."

"While providing first aid, your hand slips and you stab him in the heart. He dies instantly."

I CANT BREATHE

Lemme tell you the saga of Drake Shattersword and the magic green d20.  The magic green d20 was not just any d20; it was one of my father’s dice from his old army days back when D&D was a new thing, and he’d given it to me among my first dice as a child.  I brought it with me to college, where the first campaign I joined, I had a ranger named Drake.  Note the lack of surname at the beginning of the game.

Drake tended to actually do very well for himself, and was usually stable and clever enough that he ended up the party’s leader, but he had one exception to his competence.  See, the DM used the rules for crit-failures/1s on attack rolls where he had a second chart to roll on, and if you rolled a second 1, your weapon broke.

After the third time Drake broke a pair of swords just as he got them and spent the duration of the trip to the next town fighting with two broken swords, the DM added a special note to his weapon proficiencies about “broken weapons”, and the rogue dubbed him “Drake Shattersword”.

When he managed to crit-fail weapon break on a magical construct and have a centuries-year-old magic holy sword brought to the world by an angel then roll a 1 on its save for being a magic weapon and shatter against it, the rest of the party began introducing him as “Drake Shattersword”. 

The climactic battle of the original major campaign plot, as a level 14 or so ranger, against the evil mage that’d conquered his homeland, killed his original lord, and harried the party throughout the campaign, wherein Drake had gone out of his way to ensure he had his weapons in good shape…

The very first round, as he drew his swords and went to attack, crit-fail weapon breakage, crit-fail weapon breakage. 

In epilogue, the party finds out about a dangerous artifact dagger with the trapped soul of a dead evil god in it, and the massive epic quest of trials to destroy it.

The down to earth, generally humorless and serious, pragmatic dwarven paladin stares at the high priest explaining and in all seriousness, asks:

"Can we just give it to Drake and tell him to use it?  Trust me, he’ll find a way."

The only person with a more spectacular record of 1 rolls was the player-antagonist assassin who managed to crit-fail his way into stabbing himself with his own poisoned daggers and falling into a ravine while attempting to knife a prone and defenseless target.

(via jojoinabox)

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tastefullyoffensive:

[@jonrisinger]
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hokanye:

set the scene: prime caught flirting w kirk

(via thegirloffandoms)

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gigaguess:

Otter pocket raid cleverly disguised as snuggles.

gigaguess:

Otter pocket raid cleverly disguised as snuggles.

(via thegirloffandoms)

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Dentist pulled the tooth out yesterday. But it’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain.

Plus it’s always fun to see Tom faint.

(Source: totalparksandrec, via asgardian-doctor)

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(Source: iplayxboxnaked, via jojoinabox)

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thediaryofadisappointingman:

Eventually whenever Pavlov heard a bell ring he had an uncontrollable urge to feed a dog.

(via jojoinabox)

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neilaglet:

Sorry for the repeat but the other one was acting weird.

neilaglet:

Sorry for the repeat but the other one was acting weird.

(via more-cheer-in-a-graveyard)